porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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