You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
