You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
