you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
