I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore