Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
