he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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