You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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