Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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