We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize