Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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