Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
