elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
