Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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