I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize