i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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