theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
