We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize