Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
