there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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