it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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