Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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