Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
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I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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