question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
