So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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