So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
