If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
