I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
