Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
