I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
