Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
