I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
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And then my night got REAL pukey
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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