My brain says no but my pants say off.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
