i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
