We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
