Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
