I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
