We're like a lot better than the average bears
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
