he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You ruined the universe
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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