I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
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i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize