I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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