So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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