I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we're so committed to being not committed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
