This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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