im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
