i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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