So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
