There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
