You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
