also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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