3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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