So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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