Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
