i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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