I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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