So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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