The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize