I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize