I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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