How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
