i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
