"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
