Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
