The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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