she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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