It's Friday. Sex?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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