I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize