I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
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It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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