Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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