exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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