i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
