yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
false alarm, still single
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