how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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