yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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