I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
